It's Been A While!

Alright. I suck at blogging. Or maybe life has just been cray. You decide.

So much has happened since the last post, so I am going to make things simple. Short and sweet.

I'll start with the first set of big news: I saw my neurologist a few weeks ago. I was looking forward to this because when you are in the hospital, you see your doctor for MAYBE 3 minutes a day. If that. Its ridiculous. So, here was the good and bad of our convo:

• Good News: He was pleasantly surprised to see me "doing so well". I was not sure if I should be scared by this or just appreciative that I was feeling ok that day? My INR levels have stayed between the 2-3 range (yay!) My side effects (hearing, vision, balance) have continued to get better even though I am still having issues. I don't have to see him for another 2 months (I've grown to be really impatient and can't stand a doctor's office at this point). And last but not least...I was cleared to get back to normal life aka working. YAY.

• Bad News: So turns out my clot was 6 inches (crazy, thought it was more like 4). It is still there and will be for a while (10 weeks +). I could potentially be on blood thinners for the rest of my life. Really hoping this isn't the case. I still get headaches when I strain. And still get tired very easily. I can never be on any type of birth control ever again. A lot to wrap my head around, but ultimately not too bad. I am more annoyed with my diet limitations than anything. Vitamin K is not my friend. I may or may not have indulged in some beer and wine this weekend. Oops.

All in all it was a good visit and I really like the guy. He's pretty straightforward. We'll see how everything goes. Just trying to take it a day at a time.

Bombshell #2: My dad's brain tumor is back. Goodness gracious can ANYTHING ELSE happen to my family right now? I mean really. When it rains it pours. I have complete faith that God knows what he is doing, but DANG. Sometimes I just get really overwhelmed. Like when I just watched Parenthood and the whole episode was about chemo. Bad move. His surgery is this month and he will begin chemo following that. 

Last but not least: I moved.  Christy & I LOVE our place and can't wait to get a few more projects done. Like get furniture. And remove all trashbags/boxes from our deck. Anyone with a truck want to come on over and haul it all to the dumpster? :) Anywho, I'm so excited to finally live together. It's great for us because we are both kind of in the same stage of life. And we both love wine. And each other. And each others closet. On the other side of that, I am super sad to leave my preggo family roomies (I was basically dupree- judge me) and miss them every day. I also miss their fur children something terrible. They will be my famiy always. Love you guys. 

I will end with I am so lucky to have such great parents and friends. Really. The past few weeks have been rough, but the people in my life help me to be strong when I feel like I'm going to lose it. The first few days in the hospital I was literally so overwhelmed with love that I could not look at any messages on my phone and/or speak to some people because everything was so sweet I cried. And crying = terrible headache. I still get those sweet reminders today and am so thankful for them. And can accept them now with no tears...well sometimes. Please, please, please keep my sweet daddy in your prayers. I know he's going to do great, but I am ready to get this over with ASAP and he and my mom are too. 

I'm seriously considering going to bed at 8. This girl is worn out. More updates soon! xoxo

Feeling More Like Me (finally!!)

The end of this week, with the exception of last night, has me feeling like things may get better a little faster than I anticipated! I've had several days with no pain at all, and my body is getting a ton stronger. I know this sounds crazy but my muscles were seriously sore after doing normal things the first few days out of my hospital bed. It was not a good time. But now I can shower and get ready and not feel exhausted, which is awesome. I am still limiting myself to one big outing a day and trying to rest up as much as possible before I get back to work on Wednesday- just to be on the safe side.

Friday I had another doctors appointment and then that night everyone came to the house and we played Battle of the Sexes. Which was hilarious. It was nice to have everyone over instead of having to go out somewhere and get tired. Ha. I am really a grandma. But I am home so much now that I feel a little cabin fever-ish and its nice to have people there. I woke up yesterday and was not feeling so hot. The pressure in my ears was really bothering me but I didn't get a headache (like I normally do after a lot of pressure) so I wasn't worried at first. However as the night went on it got worse. I called the on-call doctor and told her how I was feeling, and she thought it was best I go back to the hospital. She mentioned the possibility of internal bleeding and my mind started going down all kinds of anxiety-ridden paths. I would much rather be safe than sorry at this point so on I went, after a long hot shower. I was not about to get stuck up in there with no shower for days again. So you bet your ace I took my time. My sweet dad picked me up, and missed all of his Breeder's Cup races as well as his anniversary dinner/movie date with Carol. Thirty-three years of marriage and still going strong. Love my sweet parent's hearts. I think I have aged them at least 5 years this week :(

Got to the ER and it was packed. Flashback of waiting THREE + hours last go around. I wanted to walk right on out and cry. I really just don't understand why some people go in there and bring their ENTIRE family. Like all the kids, aunts, uncles, cousins. It's just so excessive and annoying to the rest of the world. Pet peeve. JUST BRING ONE PERSON! Anyways, thank God I got back into a room in about 30 minutes tops. I guess when you have a clot in your brain you get moved up on the list a little faster than when you just say you have a headache, ha. Nurse came in and did all kinds of blood work. Took 3 tries to get a vein. After blowing the first one in my hand- tears were flowing. I thought Ron was going to beat her up and I halfway wanted him to. But she told me that as long as I am on the blood thinners this process would not be fun because it's harder to get a vein and not blow it. SWEET. Doctor came in, told him about all my ear issues and new location of my head pain, and he looked and felt all kinds of things. Didn't see anything to be concerned with. He got some pain meds and Zofran into me quickly and that helped a little. He left for about 45 mins and dad and I watched the LSU/Bama game for a while. He came back, got my blood work results and my INR had dropped to 1.9. They want to keep this in the 2-3 range and last time it was checked it was at about a 2.1. I'm hoping I can get back on track because if it stays below 2 they will have to increase my dosage of thinners. But since it was such a small drop he was not too concerned. We waited for a while to see if my original doctor wanted to do another MRI, but he decided against this and is just going to see me on Tuesday. All in all he said that he thinks today was just a small bump in the road. All of these pains and side effects are so new to me that I am having a hard time deciding when I need to be worried. I mean last week when all of this started I thought I just had a sinus infection and ignored it for several days only to find out it was so much more serious. It's just scary. And I know now I am going to get alarmed at the drop of a hat.

Was planning on going to church this morning, but going to stay home and watch online. Dr's appointments all day monday and tuesday. Getting it all out of the way before WORK Wednesday! Woot woot! I have never been so excited to get to work in my life y'all. My steelers better pull it out today--need those silly giants to stop making comebacks. Happy Sunday everyone! I hope yours is as relaxing as mine :)

Wednesday Update

First doctor's appointment today went pretty well! The PA went over all of my labs with me that were drawn in the hospital. Everything looks normal-which leads them to believe that my birth control is more than likely what caused my clot. I am still running a low grade fever which was weird to me. But I was able to talk to her about all of my weird side effects that I wrote about in my last post, and she made me feel a lot better about those. It's just crazy how much your brain controls everything you experience. Because of the location of my clot, so many of my senses are being affected. Literally everything I hear sounds so much different than before. So weird and so hard to explain to someone. And I really have got to stop running into things. You should have seen me with the cart at Kroger last night. Comedy.

After seeing the 1st doctor today, I had to make an appointment with my neurologist. When I called, the lady told me his first available appointment was November 31st. I kind of expected him to be pretty backed up but when she told me this I was not a happy camper. I am trying to get all of my major appointments done before next Wednesday when I go back to work. I just cannot afford to be off any more than I have already have planned to be. Long story short, I talked to the nurse for a while and she squeezed me in for Tuesday. I told her I loved her and she said "ok...don't forget to bring your insurance cards"--haha. What can I say, you always know where you stand with me. Speaking of which, my new UK insurance starts tomorrow. I pray there will be no issues in me switching coverage and that I do not have to deal with a bunch of incorrect bills, etc. I'm pretty positive the clot has taken away most of the patience that existed in me, which was sadly not much to begin with. I find myself taking deep breaths and counting down backwards from 10 frequently these days.

Last night and this morning around 5am I was in some significant pain. When I feel a headache coming on I panic and think- what if this never goes away? like the time I had a headache for 5 days? I have found that when I do get head pain, it lasts for about 45 minutes tops. But I have to lay down and rest if I want to feel better that quickly. I hope this decreases with time because I will obviously not have the luxury of laying down and taking a nap once I start back to work. I get so mad and worked up when the headaches come that I probably make it worse. Gotta stop that. One thing I wish I still had from the hospital was an adjustable bed. The whole time I was there, I kind of slept half sitting up- if that makes sense. I feel a lot of pressure in my head when I change levels, like going from sitting up to laying down flat. Laying down flat is not good for me right now. That is when i feel the most pressure. But if you know me, you know I am a very hard sleeper. I start the night off sleeping propped up on my back with the intention of staying that way, and wake up on my stomach laying completely flat. No bueno. I am thinking of getting some big body pillows in efforts of limiting my ability to move after I fall asleep.

After I was done with all the doctor stuff today I went to the bank and Qdoba. My life is so exciting I know. My appetite is back for sure and I cant decide if it is a good or bad thing because I really do not get much activity these days. At all. I feel like my butt is already bigger no joke. Probably not a good thing that we only had about 15 trick-or-treaters tonight because there is SO MUCH CANDY up in here.

Going to relax tonight and not over do it like I did last night. Didn't make it over to BSHS today like I wanted to. I decided it's probably best that I only do one big activity per day and today it unfortunately had to be the doctor. We had to wait for a really long time there and it ended up being a 3 hour ordeal. Ew. Going to try to go tomorrow after I pick up some things at the office. I miss my people!

Goodnight & Happy Halloween everyone! :) Do not make the bad choice of watching any of the Paranormal Activity movies or you will never sleep again. Never.

Appointments, Work & My New Normal

Hola!

Woke up this morning with no head pain. Still feeling a little weak and disoriented. Very simple things like showering, drying my hair and going up and down the stairs wear me out pretty easily. I get dizzy and hot when I do these things which makes me really frustrated with my body. But I am hoping it will improve with time. In addition to this I am having some other weird side effects either because of the location of the clot or all of the medicine I am/have been on. Has anyone ever taken Coumadin or Heparin and experienced weird side effects? I am also taking Percocet & and antibiotic called Cefuroxime. If so facebook or email me. I'd like to talk with someone else who has taken it. I feel like my hearing is off. It kind of feels like my ears need to pop, and things like music, loud noises and vibrations sound differently now. It's hard to explain. I also have a hard time making sudden movements and cannot judge distances very well while standing. Last night I literally ran into my wall because i misjudged the space before I walked through my door. My taste buds have been inflamed and my gums sensitive. Makes food taste differently. And my right eye (same side as clot) feels weak when reading things close up. I am going to discuss all of this tomorrow during my appointment, but before I left the hospital I was warned that some of these things may happen. I am not super concerned about it, so no worries. I think I just need time to adjust to my "new normal"

Went to get labs done today and it was really quick and easy. Don't have anything to report because I wont know results until tomorrow when I go back for a follow up. The doctor I saw in the hospital will not be in the office, so I will be seeing his PA. A little conflicted about this because she does not know me or anything I have been through this week. She just has my chart. But whatevs, it's in God's hands and I am not going to let myself be upset about it.

After I went to the doctor, which by the way I drove myself to (woot woot!...mom was in the car but still), we went to Saul Good and I went to Target to get an electric razor. I tried it and like it ok but its def not the same as shaving your legs with a straight razor. Just doesn't get as smooth. I thought about getting another brand and seeing if it was any different, but I think this might just be as good as it gets. I also found my fave Luna bars which they don't always have. Score. I started to do laundry and think about packing for the big move when I got home. I was supposed to move into my new house on Saturday and that has all, obviously, kind of been put on hold. Poor Christy has been home all alone! I am so excited to get there and get settled in! On the other side of that, I will be leaving two of my best friends. With all that has gone on I have not really even thought about the fact that we won't be living together anymore and I am starting to get sad about it. They have become a part of my family and I will miss them more than they will ever know. Seems like change is the is only constant thing in my life right now, which is good/bad/happy/sad all at the same time.

In other news, I talked to my boss today and my first day back to work will be next Wednesday. Figuring out my leave time and insurance has been pretty complicated for several reasons. First, I had only worked there for 1 week prior to the clot, so I have not earned any sick time or vacation time. So basically I will be taking an unpaid leave of absence that my boss graciously got approved for me. I am fine with this and it will not be a struggle for me money wise. It's more of a frustration because I want to be back in a normal routine. I cannot even put into words how amazing UK has been in helping me deal with all of this. These people hardly know me, so I am very fortunate that they are so understanding and compassionate towards my situation. So, if any of you all are reading this, I am so thankful for you and your patience with me! Second, I am not yet on my new insurance. I am still on my old job's insurance until Oct. 31st, so I had to call today and select my new plans. I am praying that I made the right choices. I am trying to anticipate what will be best for me now that me and my doctors will be BFF's and seeing each other frequently and I will be on different prescriptions. I guess the good news here is that I wont be paying for my out-the-butt expensive birth control anymore! I am so mad about all of that that I am seriously thinking about calling the number on the commercials talking about YAZ just to see what they say. Ha.

Just took my meds and about to rest for a little. This is the most activity I have had in days. Im officially a grandma. But overall today was a good day! Hoping tomorrow will be even better. Going to run by Bryan Station before my appointment and see everyone. I think with everything that happened, people still feel like I am not ok. I think seeing me might ease everyone's mind and help them know that I am pretty much back to normal, crazy, Shelley :) 

More updates after my appointment tomorrow!

Lessons Learned

Over the last week I have learned several life lessons the hard way. Take them at face value, but I know if I would have followed this advice things would have been a lot easier for me right now.

1. When you have serious pain for more than 24 hours, go see a doctor. Listen to your body. When you take bottles of tylenol and advil and your pain does not go away, don't ignore it because you don't want to call in to work. Or you don't want to take the time and money to see a doctor because you have already been on google and self-diagnosed and self-medicated. I am so bad at looking at things on the internet and deciding what I have and what I am going to do about it. I am not a doctor. And unless you are a doctor, do not decide for yourself what is wrong with you and what you should do about it. It is so much better to be safe than sorry. That sounds so simple but I would say that most of my friends avoid the doctor until they are miserable when they could have just seen someone and gotten the proper care. So again- SEE YOUR DOCTOR WHEN YOU DON'T FEEL GOOD, K?!

2. Do not take ANY FORM of birth control that is in the same drug family as YAZ. I know getting on/switching birth controls is annoying but if you are on any of these BC's-- talk to your gyno and have them changed. Like yesterday. Im dead serious. Those commercials that warn you (the ones i thought were just people trying to get money by suing someone) are real. There are very real risks in taking these types of medications. And when it is known that some are more likely to cause clots- you should stay away from them! I know everyone has their own opinion  on this and you may disagree with me, but we will have to just agree to disagree I guess. Long story short, I have been on birth control since I was 13. No I was not having sex when I was 13- I just had very bad cramps and also have the tendency to develop ovarian cysts. Birth control helps with this and made my life a lot easier. I started out on the patch. Remember this thing? It was all the rage in birth control a decade ago, but then they found that it was more likely than other methods of BC to cause clots. So, after a few years i switched for that reason. To Yaz. Then, there were all those concerns about Yaz causing clots. So, I changed to the generic for Yaz: Gianvi. This is what I was taking at the time of my blood clot, and my doctors do think that it is very possible that it caused my clot. It is hard for them to be 100% sure, but since I am a very healthy 26 year old girl, most signs lead to this explanation. After all of this, I will never be able to take any kind of birth control again. It is just too risky, and I will have to deal with the issues of my cysts in other ways. I will cross that road when I come to it.

3. Sometimes you have to be selfish and focus on you and only you and not feel guilty about it.  Right now I want to be at my new job. I feel a tremendous amount of guilt and stress not being there. I want to move into my new townhouse with my best friend, which I was supposed to do on Saturday. I want to go to target. I want to shower and clean the house and not rest. Shit, I want a glass of WINE! Which by the way will not be happening for 6 months. Basically I'm like a pregnant person minus three months. All of my friends just gained a designated driver for half a year. You're welcome guys! Anyways- I guess this kind of goes back to number 1 and listening to your body. Right now this is the hardest thing for me, especially because i am losing most of my pain and just dealing with other side effects. Thankfully, my new boss is the most calm, understanding, compassionate person ever and so patient with me. I'm not sure how all of this would have worked out if he were any other way.

4. BE POSITIVE. You aren't going to get very far in life if you are always thinking of the "what-if's" and letting setbacks in life get the best of you. Everyone has their own roadblocks to what they feel is being happy- and you have just got to get through it. I personally could not do this without my faith, my parents, or my friends. I encourage everyone to do a daily devotional to help get your mind right. This has been my saving grace over the past few days, and even through weeks where life in general got in the way and I was just anxious about one thing or another. The devo i use is called "Jesus Calling" and you can find it at Target FYI. My sweet mom got this for me for Christmas last year, and she also uses this devo. It's nice because we can talk about it. I don't know about you but sometimes one day of church is not enough to get me through some weeks! And sometimes I make other things priorities (like sleep) and don't even make it to church on Sundays. Tisk tisk. Must get better at this also.

5. Always, always take a shower before going to a hospital. I'm not going to get into details, but the whole shower situation really stressed me out. Oh and don't take shaving your legs for granted!

I guess that is enough lessons for the day, but in summary: listen to your body, get off YAZ immediately if you are taking it or anything like it--especially if you smoke, don't feel bad about taking time for you and your health, have a good attitude, and take as many showers as possible because you never know when you could have your last one FA DAYS!

Today is by far the best I have felt in over a week. Things are lookin' up people. Doctor tomorrow and meeting with UK HR to figure out all of my leave and insurance details. Praying that it all goes well and my new insurance plan can accommodate to all of my new doctors and issues. I just realized this is my third post of the day. I'm not bored over here or anything...

Clarification

I forgot to put in my post that i did not end up having to have surgery! Which is a huge deal and I can't believe I left that out- ha! This was awesome news and I am so glad we did not have to overcome that obstacle. We are just doing meds to alleviate the pressure and thin my blood because of the clot. Also, after talking to the doctors yesterday I am a lot clearer on the details of my situation. Basically my clot started in my sinuses and moved back to the brain behind my ear (which explains where I was having pain initially). Once a vein clots, it typically does not un-clot and become a vein again like I thought in the beginning. It becomes scar tissue, and your body adapts and pushes blood through other veins. I thought this was pretty cool. So- my body is adapting and adjusting and it will just take some time. They measure progress by monitoring my blood levels- not by taking scan after scan of my brain. I thought this was weird at first but now I am more understanding of the process. In other news, doctor has still not called me back about the appointment time tomorrow which is getting on my nerves. I am ready to see this doctor ASAP so ol' girl better be hitting me up in the next hour or i'll be calling her back. I seriously have the patience of a 2 year old. I have got to work on that!

The Clot Part II

Wednesday (10/24): My first day in ICU was a blur. I was on so much medication to control pain that I don't really remember a ton about this day. I do know that there were tons of people there and I loved that. Even if my eyes were closed I loved to just hear everyone talking and laughing. It made me feel better. I was really blessed with nurses in the ICU. Not only were they all (well with the exception of 1) really loving and perfect, they let me have whoever I wanted in my room at whatever time i wanted. ICU rooms are very, very small. You are technically only allowed to have 2 people in the room at a time. I'm pretty sure at one point of this day there were at least 9 people in my room at a time,  ha. The nurses were like..."how many friends do you have?!"-- but I think they were secretly glad to have me as a patient because most people on that floor are ago 60+ and cant really function at all. This day my nurse was named Jody and she was THE BOMB. I could have cried when her shift was over because I was literally obsessed with her. At this point I was on the most medicine. They had me a on Heparin drip & Coumadin tablets (blood thinners), Dilaudid & Lortabs (pain, Dilaudid is similar to morphine but a little stronger), fluids, and antibiotics. I was also on complete bed rest this whole day, not even allowed to get up and go to the bathroom. Yeah thats right- they made me use a BEDPAN. At first I just refused to pee and then they threatened me with a cath and I decided that would be worse so I finally used the bed pan. It was awful but it had to be done. This day my blood level was about a .95. To be therapeutic, it needed to be between a 2 and 3, so I had a long way to go. Lots of visitors later, it was time to try to sleep. My poor mom was stuck with a teeny tiny recliner. I felt so bad for her. She was a trooper. But we made it through the first night strong! My nurse this night was named Misty and I loved her also.
    
Thursday (10/25): This day my day shift nurse (7am-7pm) was a BIA. She just was not nice and I did not enjoy dealing with her all day. I knew Misty would be back as my night nurse so I just looked forward to that. I went through a few rough patches this day with pain. I tried to go without the dilaudid a few times because it made me feel like a zombie, but this was a bad choice and i paid for it for sure. I decided from here on out if I was in pain I wouldn't hold out on meds. Got out of ICU this night really late- like 12am. Misty wanted to keep me as long as she could because she was not sure how much attention the nurses on the main floor could give me because they have much bigger caseloads (like 6 or 7 patients at a time, where ICU nurses have 1 or 2 patients at a time). There was also the issue of possibly getting placed in a room with a ROOMATE. WTF. I did not want to share a room with anyone and knew that they would not want to share with me because I had lots of visitors at all times. So, Misty kept me until I was guaranteed a private room and good nurses. I wanted my parents to get some sleep this night so Jamie, Mike and Emily stayed late with me and moved me into my new room. This room was HUGE. like 4 times bigger than my ICU room with couches, recliners, a bathroom with a shower (jackpot), and a bigger nicer TV. I actually slept alone this night and it felt good to have some time to myself. Don't get me wrong I loved having visitors at all time but I was ready to just have some me time and do things I wanted like watch old episodes of laguna beach on netflix and pluck my eyebrows and paint my nails. Netflix saved my life during this hospital stay! I literally watched so many shows and movies. It was love. My nurse this night was Alice and she was super nice. She got me hooked on my new favorite late night snack- graham crackers. I don't know why but I have been obsessed with them and anything cinnamon flavored for the last week. And sprite. Random.

Friday (10/26): This was my first full day in the new room. I again had some rough patches with pain this day but felt better by night time. I had tons of visitors this day and got my new favorite day nurse Jeanette and night nurse Christy. Mom got to stay this night in new, bigger recliner. Which was much nicer than the ICU recliner. One of my former students mom's was my blood nurse this night so it was fun talking to her. I was eating regularly by this day which was good. Pretty uneventful day. My blood had improved to the mid-1 range which was also good.

Saturday (10/27): Today was the best day because I actually got to take a shower. Thats right i said it- no shower from Tuesday-Friday.  The whole week i kept thinking THANK GOD I made my mom take me home to shower before going to the emergency room. THANK GOD. My shower was the best ever. I dried my hair and curled it and put on makeup from my bed. You probably think thats nuts and selfish but  I do not care. I just wanted to feel like myself and not a blob of smelly greasy lard. Because that is what i felt like. I don't think my hair had ever been so greasy in my life and I'm pretty sure the longest i've ever gone without a shower is 2 days. I love showers. This day I also got the news that I wouldn't be allowed to use a razor for as long as I was on blood thinners. Which is ya know, 6 months. I was not happy about this and have just now accepted it. Mom is going to go get me the best electric shaver there is- because I was cleared to use that. I wanted Christy to stay with me this night because I wanted my parents to be able to go home and do things like laundry, take care of the dog, eat normal food, etc. My parents were so resistant to leaving because they felt like they needed to be with me 24/7 which I understood but i finally convinced them that to take care of me the best they can during the day requires sleep and rest so they finally agreed to this. I was so happy to have Christy there that night and we laughed and talked just like we were at home. And we also watched more Laguna Beach, ha. I don't know why I still like that show.

Sunday (10/28): I woke up feeling like a new person because i got really good sleep Saturday night. The nurse who checks my blood every morning around 4:00-4:30 didn't come in until like 5:30 so that was really nice. I was so out of it when she woke me up that I thought she was my mom. Which is funny because she was a short black lady who talked like a man. I was having a hard time coming out of sleep so she starting saying "LIE UP, LIE UP" really loudly and it scared me so I started crying for some reason. She was so rough with my arm that I almost hit her. My cries turned to laughs after she left because Christy woke up and thought she was saying "LYLE, LYLE" instead of "LIE UP, LIE UP" and she started freaking out because she thought the nurse thought my name was LYLE and she came in and got the wrong persons blood. This isn't that funny really but at 5:30am when you are half asleep it was hilarious and we laughed for like 20 minutes. I just remember thinking gosh it feels good to just laugh!  I actually ate some of the hospital food breakfast this day I was so hungry. This is saying a lot because let me tell you its just not the greatest. Dad came with breakfast for Christy and a large McDonald's sprite for me around 7:30ish. McDonald's sprite in a big styrofoam cup has been my favorite thing since I've been feeling bad. It just tastes so good. I can't get enough. Mom got there not too long after and well all hung out for a few hours while we waited for the doctors to come in with my blood level. Good news- it was 2.1 which was therapeutic range. I was able to go home! Saw both my doctors, went over what would happen when i was at home (meds, diet, etc.) and was out by around 12:45. I was pumped. Got home, watched my Steelers play in those awful uniforms, and slept. Had a really hard time dealing with the pain at night so I took a bath. Around 8pm i was feeling ok. Mike ordered chinese food and i ate that and it was yummy. Then I couldn't sleep so I started this blog. Went to bed around 2:15AM and slept completely through the night. It was nice not waking up to someone sticking a needle in my arm at 4AM.

Today(10/29): I woke up around 9:30 wishing I would have set my alarm to get up and take my pain meds and Zofran instead of just sleeping in, but the sleeping was good too. Have I mentioned that Zofran is my BFF? I literally wouldn't make it without her. For those of you that have not experienced Zofran- she is the best anti-nausea medicine around. Zofran is a little pill that goes under your tongue and dissolves which I feel like makes it work faster. I am having a really hard time being patient with oral medicine since I have been home because I am so used to meds directly entering my arm and working instantly. Yikes. I sound like an addict. But its the truth people. I did not realize how spoiled I was in the hospital. I am not a patient person right now and being in pain  knowing that relief will not come until about 45 minutes after taking a pill is just MIZ. I took everything around 9:30 today and I am just now feeling like I can function (its about 10:45AM). But i do feel ok this morning compared to yesterday afternoon. I am noticing that I am having some difficulty with balance, vision and hearing. Which was expected so I am not freaking out about it. It sounds like my ears need to pop and that they are just full. Not sure whats going on there. I also get very frustrated because when I do feel ok, I want to get up and walk around a little bit, but every time I get up I literally exhaust myself. It makes me wonder how long it will take before I can do normal things like work and shower and drive. I find myself becoming more and more impatient with myself and my body. My neurosurgeon says that I have to be very careful because my condition is not something I can just push through, like a broken bone or a virus. When my body tells me to stop I have to listen to it and stop right then. This makes me frustrated because I can't even get up and go to the bathroom without my body screaming at me to sit back down. I feel like am seriously going to get bed sores from laying down so much! haha. Today I was supposed to call and make an appointment with Dr. Thompson (one of my doctors in the hospital) to get my PT/INR levels checked tomorrow. When I called the lady told me she would have to call me back with an appointment time because she hadn't received my info from the hospital. I am hoping to get a really early appointment tomorrow so I don't have to wait all day. So please pray for that! She still has not called back yet.

Starting to feel a little tired and going to try to nap and then shower after. Mom is on her way with my most recent craving (McDonalds cheeseburger?!?!) and she is going to help me shower. More updates later!

The Clot Part I

Hi!

As my friends and family know, I am a chronic blog reader. I love blogs, and follow them regularly. About six months ago I decided that maybe since I love reading blogs I should have my own. So, I started this one. FAIL. Wrote like three posts. Never thought about it again. I think it was just hard for me to post randomly because I didn't have a focus. Im not super into fashion and products. I am not getting married. I'm not having a baby- you get the picture. I guess I wasn't really going through any big changes in life. This changed last week.

I have decided that since I will be spending a lot of time resting and awake when everyone else is asleep that I would blog about this experience not only for myself, but also in hopes that someone will learn something from it and not make some of the mistakes that I made during this process. I have been so overwhelmed with calls/texts/facebook/visitors that I thought I could use this to keep everyone posted on my progress. You all have made me feel so loved through this scary time that I literally get so emotional about it that I can't read texts or messages all the time because cry and it makes my head hurt more. I am  SO sorry if you have contacted me and I haven't gotten back to you or I was out of it/asleep when you came to visit. I am so appreciative of the love and support and I promise I will catch up to all of your messages ASAP! Trust me I will have plenty of time! Unfortunately, I feel like this is going to be a long recovery of ups and downs. Please continue to pray that i continue going forwards and not backwards. I seriously have the best friends and family on this planet and  I can't yet find the words to say how thankful I am. God is too good to me.

Here goes the story...

Friday (10/19): On my way home from my first week of traveling for my new job (awesome timing, right?)  I had the worst headache of my life.  At first,  I ignored it. Earlier in the week I had to go to the doctor for some throat issues- and i thought maybe I was just getting a sinus infection on top of it. I took some tylenol and rallied. My BFF from college and her fiance were on their way to town from DC and we had Keeneland plans the next day. Tons of our other friends were going to be in town for the weekend and we had all been looking forward to it for months. As many of you recent college graduates know, it is nearly impossible to get all of your friends together in one place to hang out. Those days are over. So to say I was excited is an understatement. Moving on- Friday night, people get in town and some of us do dinner at Harry's. Throughout dinner, I continued to feel bad. So bad that I couldn't even have a glass of wine. This girl loves her wine, and I knew this was a bad sign. But I tried to keep positive about it and kept hitting up the tylenol bottle.

Saturday (10/20): Wake up and feel so bad I cant get in the shower. I tell my friends to shower before me, take some more tylenol, and hope to feel better after 30 more minutes of sleep. This doesn't happen. I end up staying home from Keeneland, in my bed, while all of my friends and family go to Keeneland. I was so bummed. After Keeneland, we had all planned to go to Tin Roof to watch the UK game. Thought maybe if I rested, I could at least do this. Didn't happen. I spent most of this night on the bathroom floor feeling like I was going to barf. Thankfully I never did, but I almost feel like if I had let myself I might have felt better. Finally got to sleep this night around 1AM.

Sunday (10/21): Wake up and feel ok. Hang out with Kate & Adam before they leave to drive home, go pick up Panera, eat, and nap after they leave. I cleaned the house a little, made dinner that night, and thought maybe I was feeling better. Went to bed around 10PM.

Monday (10/22): This day was my first actual day in the office at my new job as my first week was spent in Cincinnati, Virginia, and Cleveland for  fairs, preview nights and counselor luncheons. I honestly felt ok this morning. I took a bunch of meds before I went in, and I think I was just excited so it got me through most of the morning without feeling terrible. By lunchtime, I started to get the really bad head pain again. My pain was in and around my eyes, in my forehead, and behind my ears. The right ear specifically. I started to think maybe I had an ear infection? I called my doctor and got his last appointment and headed there after work.  He thought that maybe I did not get rid of the throat infection fully, and my sinuses were clogged. He looked in my ears, said they were fine. Put me on a really high dose of amoxicillin (my stomach is super sensitive to most antibiotics and this is one of few i can take), Mucinex D, and gave me a stronger pain medicine for my headache. I started to feel like this headache would never go away and that people were going to start thinking I was a junkie looking for pain meds. I went to the pharmacy near my parents house and waited for everything to get filled. My mom made me dinner and I took all the meds, but at the end of the night I felt so bad that I didn't even want to drive home, so I just stayed the night at home.

Tuesday (10/23): Woke up around 5:30 with the intention of going home, showering, and going to work. I got up and tried to feel normal but this was by far the worst I'd felt since Friday. Let me remind you again that this is only the 2nd day in the office of my new job. I had to text my boss and let him know i wouldn't be in. I was so conflicted about this because I felt like I was really not putting my best foot forward with work and got really upset about it. Like cried for hours, talked myself into thinking I was going to get fired and that everyone probably thought I was cray. But- my mom stayed home from work with me this day because she was worried and she tried her best to talk me out of feeling bad about staying home. Throughout the day we tried everything to get the headache gone. Sniffing steam, ice packs, ib proufen, tylenol, pain meds from the doctor- you name it. We tried it. By 6:30pm I was back on the bathroom floor willing myself not to throw up everywhere. Mom called the on-call doctor and she said we needed to head to the emergency room. I made my mom drive me to my house beforehand to get some comfortable clothes and let me take a shower before going to the hospital. This was probably the best decision I made all week even though I had no idea what was to come in the next 24 hours.

Tuesday Night/Wednesday Early AM: This time frame deserves its own paragraph because it was the longest 7ish hours I can remember. We get to the ER and the place does not look that busy. They get me checked in and look at me like i'm an idiot because I'm coming in because of a "headache". I was positive at this point they thought I was the biggest lunatic. I got a few like- why is she coming here for a headache? type stares. It made me want to barf on everyone and flick them off. As the waiting begins in the emergency room lobby- which might I add was under construction and dirty- the place starts to go HAM. I'm talking at least 5-7 people come in on stretchers, about 10 more people come in and are waiting, I mean the place was poppin. We wait for THREE AND A HALF HOURS before even getting in a room. At this point I am losing my mind and scaring the crap out of my mom. We legit almost left because i didn't think i could sit in the waiting room any longer. I can't even go into detail about the weird people in the waiting room because it would take another hour to describe, but let me tell you it was a show. Anyways, we get in the room and have to wait another 30-45 minutes before anyone even comes in. I was really losing it at this point. Like not sane. When the doctor finally gets back there he is amazing. He is so nice, and immediately gets me hooked up to all kinds of things that start to make me feel better within 15 minutes. He then sends me to get a CT scan. We wait for a while and he comes back to tell me he has good news and bad news. I don't even remember what he said the good news was but he proceeds to tell me that I HAVE A BLOOD CLOT IN MY BRAIN. Excuse me?! To say I was shocked is not even an accurate way to describe what was going through my head. Thank God I was sedated. After we talk for a while, he lets me know I need to get an MRI so they can tell more of what is going on and afterwards I will be heading to ICU to be monitored and put on blood thinners. Again- excuse me?! The letters I-C-U didn't sit well with me at all. The MRI was an awful experience, so again thank God I was sedated. Being in a small tube making loud noises and vibrations is not fun when you have a headache my friends. The scan took about 30 minutes. Which does not seem long when I say it but felt like 2 hours when I was in there. I go back to the room after and wait for them to look at the scan. Another doctor comes back and tells me I'm going to have to have surgery. INSERT COMPLETE PANIC. I am not sure how my mom held it together for me at this point but thank God she did because I lost it. Before they wheel me to ICU I call Christy and she immediately comes to be with me. We call my dad and he comes too. This begins the longest and scariest week of my life.

Alright I'm finally tired and ready to sleep tonight. More of the story to come tomorrow.